December 18, 2005 we were 3 days into our unknown journey of adoption. So let me catch you up on what happened in our lives 8 years ago…..
Friday, December 16, 2005 my husband and I were out and about doing the last minute things that soon to be homeowners do. We did a final walk through to make sure that the previous homeowner was supposed to fix, we went to Lowes and bought some blinds and we sat at the pizza place and ate lunch, while I made lists of what we needed to do and when.
To say we were a bit excited and yet a bit apprehensive would be a mild understatement. We were purchasing our first home and preparing for our first Christmas at our new call. Sure we had served churches for 8 years but this one was new and churches always have different spins on favorite traditions. Plus I was working part time at a Hallmark store to try to make things for the new home more affordable.
But things were about to take a turn our trip was very close to becoming filled with more unknowns. We had long wanted to be parents and felt as if God had given us gifts to being parents. However, our efforts of having a natural born child had proved to be unsuccessful and after several miscarriages and then a bout with infertility we decided adoption was the best option. But we hadn’t done anything about adoption since the middle of August. We were just concentrating on getting a home ready and getting through Christmas. Yet when we arrived back at our small apartment, there was a message from a person involved with a ministry we had been in conversation with saying that she had a baby for us……wait… what? What did that message say? I hardly listened again, honestly only to get her number and I was calling her.
She of course was busy so she was going to call me back but I was so excited and didn’t really want to think about all the could be’s so I called my mother in law and shared the awesome news that she was going to be a grandma again — or at least I thought. Wow things were getting wild and I didn’t know what way was up and which was down and I hardly knew who the man in the same room with me was.
The return call came just a few minutes later and we found out a homeless drug addict was wanting to give up her baby and wanted to meet with us. It was made very clear that the baby was most likely going to be a crack baby and the mother had no idea when she was due as she had NO (yes I said NO) prenatal care. But it was thought she would be giving birth relatively soon. We agreed to meet with the ministry director and the birth mother the next day.
I don’t think a night has ever went so slow – we searched the internet to find out about crack babies, we talked to my father in law who contacted others who may have more experience (my FIL was the director of a recovery program at the time). If the baby was relatively healthy other than the crack it looked like something we could manage but there were no guarantees.
Honestly going into the meeting that Saturday morning we both had apprehensions. We wondered if the birth mother and father wanted something more than we could give – we wondered if we would financially be able to care for what could be a medically fragile baby. We were sort of ready to find a reason affirmed by God that this was not the right baby for our family. However, what we encountered was just the opposite — indeed we encountered a homeless drug addict but also a lady with the most sweetest and gentlest spirit that I’d ever met. I feel instantly in love with her and her unborn child. When asked what she wanted, she simply looked at both of us and said “to love my baby that I can’t care for.” We assured her that if we adopted her baby he or she would never lack for love, our love, our friends and families love, any church we served loved and most importantly God’s love.
We asked several more times what she wanted — she finally said she had been craving milk. Well that was an easy fix also, we secured milk along with a gift card for access to more milk and food. We also had the ministry arrange for her to have an ultrasound on Monday for we needed to have an idea about the medical condition and how far along she was. I promised her while holding her hands that if for some reason we couldn’t adopt her unborn child, that we would find someone who could and would love them unconditionally.
We left that meeting with even more mixed emotions. But we had to get through Sunday — the fourth Sunday of Advent. We lead worship and didn’t say a word to the congregation, just unsure of what the next few days would bring. We didn’t even know what Monday would bring……