Tag Archives: littleman

#MeToo (In a round about way my Gratitude day 8)

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Upon reading Bishop Tim Smith’s (Bishop of the North Carolina, ELCA) Facebook post this morning, I felt led to share a part of my story.

Sometime after we had adopted our littleman, I was sharing with a close mentor how much Joe and I loved and adored him and how blessed we were to have been given such a precious gift from God (and anyone who knew us and knows us – indeed knows how much we did and always will adore him).  I went on to ponder aloud, wondering if we should consider adopting another child, although Joe and I had long ago agreed to have only 1 child.  When asked why would I try to convince Joe off this I said “well, if we adopted again we could adopt a little girl and we could have one of each and I could make matching dresses for us.”  My mentor paused for a moment and said, “Kelly, is it really something you feel called to do – adopt another child?  Is that something that would work for your family?”  When I quietly, said “Well not really”.  I again said “I want you to know I truly believe Z is our child and the one that God meant for us to have, he is the only one that could complete our family.”   She then said something that greatly impacted my life and gave me something to strive for every single day.  That impact was made when she said “Kelly, you have a powerful story, that hurts, I know.  But God has blessed you with a little boy, so that you and Joe can raise a young man to know how to treat young women and ladies for the rest of his life.”  WOW!  Each day I believe we strive to do just that – some day’s more successfully than others.   I’m thankful for that special mentor.

That all being said, I’ve been hesitant to jump in the #MeToo movement because while it’s a part of my story and always will be – it hurts.  Not only does it hurt I’m afraid of what those who hurt me might say or do, or how others will feel if they knew that part of my story, or is it going to just give some who are constantly looking for something to critic something else to judge me on, or is it going to put a mark on any  future service I have with the church as an ordained minister and my list could just keep going on.

I’m not all grateful for that part of my story but I am most currently eternally grateful for CareNet of the Triad for the amazing care I’ve been given there for a number of years.  Without the team that I’ve been blessed with I would be not nearly where I am in my journey with accepting my #MeToo story and trying to heal from the hurt.  I wouldn’t suggest attempting to tackle it alone – I just can’t imagine.  Honestly, I do not know where I would be if it wan’t for the wonderful care I receive each week.  I’m beyond thankful.

That being said, I’ve clearly openly joined those who journey with a  #MeToo story – as one who has been sexually  harassed or assaulted.  Again I say, I am not at all happy or proud of that part of my story, yet it’s real.  Mr. Rodger’s would say “look for the helpers”, for those helpers and a few close friends I’m thankful.  I couldn’t have been and still can’t be on this journey alone – thank you!

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Gratitude Day 4

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On December 21, 2005 the Moore Family changed forever!  That’s the day that this charming almost 5 pound baby entered into this world – already making silly faces.  Since that day he has been the love of his daddy and my hearts.  He rules our home and pretty much our lives.  Our lives could not be more glourious.

He entered into our lives quite suddenly, with just 6 short days to prepare for his arrival (let me say, I believe there is a reason God created women to be preganant for 9 months).  There’s a lot to do in 6 days.  However, they were 6 days filled with thanksgiving and praise.   The child we had prayed long and hard for was now about to make his arrival in the world almost unknown – yup in the ambulance, that had to pull off the highway to have 2 paramedics be able to deliver him.  He came out with zeal.

His zeal and love of life has never been dampened.   We are grateful for the way he shows compasssion for animals and people.   For the ways in which he graciously engages others in conversation and the way he strives to do his best at most everything.

He’s always loved golf, from a tiny toddler, when given the opportunity to have any toy at walmart (Grandma was brave), he wanted plastic golf clubs.  Let’s just say, his golf clubs have gotten a tad bit more expensive as the years have gone by.  Yet how thankful we are that he has taken to a sport that will serve him well in life – wherever he will go.  He’s taught important life skills along with the skills of the game.  To say, we are thankful for First Tee of the Triad is a huge understatement.  They have given him a foundation that will be built upon for many years to come.    Lastly, we are proud that he remembers his Gramps as he talks about golf or gets ready to head out to the Tanglewood to a First Tee Practice or Game.  Something that will always remind him of his Gramps –  for that keeps his memory and love alive and for that we are thankful.

We have been blessed beyond measure by this now 11 year old tween living in our house.  I thank God for him daily and pray that God will continue to direct his paths in the way he should go, making wise and sound decisions each step of the way.  Littleman, mommy and dadddy are super thankful God blessed us with you!

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It’s Still Friday and I’m Playing…

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In this week of the world spinning off into melt down; and fear and mistrust being the dominant emotions, let us create a wee pool of loveliness….
On Tuesday on the Facebook page a thread of fluffy kittens and heartwarming YouTube clips was started to bring a little light into the darkness, this has brought laughter and feel good goose bumps to many.
On Wednesday this week, many Scottish Gals gathered in Edinburgh for a festive lunch and a time to catch up. We were celebrating a new call and a new job and an imminent wedding amongst other things, and it was a lovely, fun, noisy time!
For Friday Five this week, let’s keep the light, love and laughter going with a random selection of things to make your heart sing:
  1. Music: a song or orchestral piece that stirs your soul
  2. Indoor Place: have you got an oasis at home that you can hide away in?
  3. Outdoor Space: is it water, hills, woodland? Is it the fresh country air or the bustling city?
  4. Picture: this may be a piece of art, something you created, something someone gave you…
  5. Person: do you have a go to person, for when the world is crowding in?

The title might catch some off guard but the reality is, it’s usually Saturday before I get around to playing the Friday Five with the rest of the Revgalsblogpals — so it’s a major event that I’m actually playing on time (well at least in my time zone).  So here we go:

  1.  Music:  being a music major there are lots of pieces of music from many genres that speak to my heart and stirs my inmost being or my soul.  However,right now what I need most is, the reminder that God is always there no matter where I may find myself – emotionally, physically, geographically, and /or spiritually – the song would  then be Always There  by the Canadian Tenors.  Perhaps not the best video but one can be found here.
  2. My indoor oasis: wish I could say it was my sewing room but it only seems to be a cluttered mess where everyone dumps things.  So I would say my office.  The space that’s mine, filled with things I want on the walls, a nifty cart from Ikea filled with coloring instruments, and of course the bed of my favorite 4 legged family member – Amos.
  3. Outdoor Space: any place with a water fall or the sound of water.  Water moving is very soothing for me and I think very majestic.
  4. Picture:  oh another tough one.  I could choose so many.  To play nice I won’t sit here and list or show all my favorites (but maybe a few).  However at the top of the list is the set of 4 prints that a photographer took when my little man was just a month old.  They are in black and white and have various amounts of me in them.  They are all small and framed together – the first you can clearly see my face and my hands holding his head, the second you see just my black shirt and my cross necklace and a close up of him cuddled close but facing towards the camera, the third is a side view of both of us and he is so expressive as he turns his head towards the photographer, the last you can just see my smile and again I’m holding him outwards with my hands under his head.  I can only imagine what I might have been saying to him but it clearly shows the bond that God placed between us – as child and adoptive mom.  To top it off it’s almost 10 years ago, where oh where has that time gone? (I’d show you the picture but then it would be a copyright breech so you’ll just have to use your imagination).

4b.  Second Picture: A mosaic in the form of a heart.  This was given to me by a lady in the first congregation we served.  I doubt she knew that 16 years later I would still cherish it — it reminds me of the fact that my heart is so broken at times, yet God can and will help mend it, molding it, glueing it back together all by the means of  underserved yet granted grace, mercy, and unconditional love.

5.  Person: I have different go to people in different settings.  Or maybe I wouldn’t call them go to people in the terms of telling them what’s on my mind but people that help me be centered and know I’m safe, God usually provides that for me — and no words could describe my emotions, my fears when I don’t have that person.  However, my always, always there for me person is my best friend.  Never lived in the same town but always just a text, a call, an email, or even a Facebook post away.  Some of you may have seen she was just named Dean of Faculty at Pittsburgh Theological School .  We share a lot in common but most significant is our passion for better mental health awareness and care within our churches and the world around us.

 

Having a Kiddo in the Hospital Is Harder than Hard!

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So over at Rev Gals here is their Friday Five for this week (and yes I realize it’s Saturday)!   On RevGal’s it reads and asks us to respond to the following post:

Hospitals are very much on my mind, because my husband Chuck is having his second knee replacement on Monday. We will be there very early in the morning because he is the first surgery of the day at 7 am.

So consider your experiences in the hospital in your various capacities: being a patient; parent, child or spouse of a patient; chaplain; minister; or visitor. In what ways have you experienced your times in hospitals? Think of 5 ways and share your blog address in the comments section when you play.

  1. I remember being alone with a toddler and having been to the ER for two nights in a row because as a mom I knew something was wrong.  And more than the heart burn that the dr diagnosed it as the first night.
  2. I had someone with me the first night but my husband was away as dean of Laurel Ridge so it wasn’t easy for him to get home either night or for the week that would come.  But the second night I feel blessed in some ways because the doctor working on him had a aha type moment and tested his pancreatic enzyme levels.   And yup that was the answer to the problem.  My little guy had what we thought at the time Acute Pancreatitis.  I remember that I was devastated when they told me he would be admitted for at least a week.
  3. As a pastor I knew that they don’t admit adults or children without it being a serious issue and I was scared for his life and didn’t know what to do at midnight alone with my very sick child.
  4. Thankfully my mother in law came down from Winston-Salem (a 5 hour drive) the next day to be with me and offer me some support.  The whole thing brings tears to my eyes still.  Because other than her, one friend, and daily or multiple times a day calls from my hubby (as cell service would allow) I had no support.  No church members visited or offered to bring anything.  I felt alone a lot and all I wanted to do was cry but knew that would only get my little man a little more worked up.
  5. I remember the nurse on the day we were leaving telling me that little ones that come in with numbers that high usually don’t leave.  Meaning you guessed it they die.  I’ve never forgot it and remember it every time that the doctors fear his pancreatitis is flaring because it’s not longer acute but chronic.
  6. What parent wouldn’t be freaked out and exhausted from not getting much sleep ( sleeping in bed with their little one for a week) and wondering when he was going to start to feel better and when they would stop giving him morphine and give him real food.   But as you can see from the pictures below he did get well and we did have some play time so to speak.

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Views post surgery

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I haven’t gotten nearly as much done as i thought I would with a week off my feet.  You see my mind hasn’t been able to focus much more than to color a bit off and on and to re-read parts of on of my new favorite books.  I’ve been blessed with lots of flowers two sets you see above and lots of wonderful food.  So not only have I been taken care of but my boys have also.  

Let me explain the pictures above — the top left corner is me holding my new favorite book.  It’s a book put out by REVGALBLOGPALS and is short essays about the joys, challeneges and even the laughable moments of ministry.  If you are a femaile in ministry, support a female in ministry, are a female thinking about ministry, or want to know what it’s  like to be in ministry this is a candid book about life as a female minister and you need to get your hands on a copy and start reading it.  The picture next to that is my big new boot that is my latest and greatest fashion accessory for the next 6 weeks or so. It’s not the greatest but life could be worse and once it’s gone so shall all the pain that came from my bunion.  Then there’s the two pictures of flowers that loved ones have shared with me.  Next comes coloring — one of the few things I’ve been able to focus on.   I got me a new set of markers — i love these pens/markers and 10 colors weren’t quite enough so as a surgery gift I bought a set of 20.  Something that even my littleman is enjoying as I attempt to write this blog post.  So in between the flowers and the new markers is a stainglassed butterfly I’ve started to color.  I’ll try to remember to post the finished product but please don’t hold me to that because I’m not that clear headed these days.  Now give me a few days and Ill be able to take on the world.

Thanks for the many ways you have cared for me and my family during this surgery.  My husband told me last night he was mighty impressed with how well I was doing — so I say lets keep that up!  Until next time, blessings, my friends.

#RallyRevGals — Peggy Edition

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Have a case of the Augusts? Not ready for the program year to start? Thinking about how you can’t save the world, or even your little corner of it? RevGals can’t fix it all either, but we can give you a reason to post to your blog!

The #RallyRevGals Blog Contest will run from Tuesday, August 18, to Sunday, August 31.

To be eligible:

be a member of our webring,*
1.  Write a blog post about a woman who has been a positive influence on your ministry (whether or not she is/was a pastor),
2.  Use the tag/hashtag #RallyRevGals in your subject line as well as categories or tags on your blog,
3.  Share the link in the comments on this blog post, in the comments on the accompanying Facebook group post, or on Twitter (be sure to use the hashtag so we can find your blog post).
4.  Everyone who participates will be entered in a random drawing for three prizes from our Cafe Press store.

I couldn’t narrow it down to just one woman who has helped me along in my 16 years of ministry, so over the next few days I will be blogging about a few more.  But here’s today’s special woman who deserves to be upheld as someone who cared and countinues to care for me as a pastor and a person.

In every church we’ve served I’ve found that there are a couple of lay people with whom I develop a special bond with.  Usually that bond is strenghtened by their witness to me and their unconditional love and support of me as their pastor.  It’s not that they wouldn’t be honest with me but perhaps it’s because they are honest – honest with constructive criticism and honest with compliments and words of encouragement.  There was always a feeling I had that this person had my back and was praying for me. 

 As I mentioned thankfully I’ve had this at every church that my husband and I have served but a few stand out.   One of those is a lady named Peggy.  Every Sunday Peggy and her children and grandchildren where in church I knew that I would be given a hug that would fill me with the energy and the joy that I would need to face whatever may come my way till we meet again.  Along with that hug were words such as “I love you so much”, ” Your prayers are so special and sincere”, ” You have gifts for ministry and I’m glad your my pastor” etc.   We all long to hear those words but we also recgonize that being ordained and thus behind the pulpit often set us apart from hearing those words that help sustain our beings.

My bond with Peggy I believe is unbreakable.  I haven’t been her pastor in close to 10 years but her family and my family still maintain contact (her daughter and son in law are our littleman’s Godparents) and in many ways I see her as an unofficial grandma to my littleman.  I’ve sat with her through declining health of herself and her husband.  After moving away I returned (within the boundaries set and with permission) to help officiate at her Granddaughters wedding, her husbands funeral and sadly her son’s funeral.  It’s just not every day that you can do those things but when some people ask you know in your heart your meant to be there and woulnd’t be anywhere else.

Peggy is a special lady and although she is now limited in the ways that she can serve I know that she serves a risen God with a servants heart.  Every pastor should be blessed to have a Peggy in their life.  Peggy has ralleyed around me and help me to remember at times why I do what I do and who it is that I serve.  I’m so blessed to have her in my life!

 

 

Organizational Style – Friday Five Style

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What a fun Friday Five over at RevGal’s this week.  Being organized is something I long to be but never quite acheive.  Everytime we move I vow it should be different here but after a few months some rooms are unorganized again — it’s like some rooms are just bound to be a chaos.  So if you feel like playing along with this week’s Friday Five please do but let me know in the comment section.  Who knows maybe together we can all have organized dwelling places – here’s what it says and the challenge on the RevGals sit:

“My daughter told me that she and her partner have different ways of organizing: my daughter puts it all in a pile, while her spouse files it. My daughter is definitely connected to me, as I tend to be a stacker of papers, photos, letters, books, clothes, etc. I am wanting to get rid of some of these piles, which I periodically do. Instead of rearranging them, I need to recycle them. So for this Friday Five, Let’s look at our organizational skills and/or clutter:

1. How do you organize? Is there a difference with various objects?

2. Do you have any cluttered spots in your office or home? Describe.

3. What do you organize well? And not?

4. What do you wish to de-clutter?

5. Accomplishments in organizing or de-cluttering:”

 

Here are my attempts of answers:

1.  My organization tends to differ from room to room, depending on what is in the room and what the room is used for.  However, generally I tend to organize things with like items.  For example legos are together and an attempt is made to go by color with the bricks and like items with each other (wheels with wheels etc).

2.  There are several cluttered spots in my home and office (which is in our home).  Mostly the clutter comes in piles on my office table and the spot where we keep stuff from Littleman’s school (work, take home papers, stuff from his Tuesday folder).  And the garage/laundry room seems to always be out of control – not to mention littleman’s playroom.

3.  I think for the most part my yarn and my sewing/craft room are organized better than anything.  My yarn get’s the cedar closet on the level we mostly live on.  It’s organized by fiber content and then some is organized by project or with matching skeins.  I could live in this closet I love the colors!  Likewise my sewing/craft room which is on the lower level or basement is usually organized like item with like item or material by fiber content or season.  However the disclaimer for this room is that it often gets items dumped it in when there seems to be no where else to put it.  So every so often I have to sort through a pile or two.   What don’t I organize well?  Certainly Littleman’s things especially clothes and toys.  I tend to have clothes sorted but never want t part with them. Which is beyond crazy I know because he’s never going to be that small again and I can’t keep them forever (maybe this blog post will inspire me to do something with the baskets in his room).  As for toys, similar things happen, I don’t want to get rid of them because they have such happy memories with them.  Not to mention the fact that as soon as I think I can get rid of them, he pulls them out to play with.  His playroom (along with the family room) are filled with toys.  Time to declutter those areas but who wants to help?  

4.  What do I want to de-clutter?  I think that answer came out in the end of #3 but in order to do that I need to have a couple of days where I have some energy and perhaps a little help not to mention for them to be littleman free.

5.  Accomplishments — well thankfully as a pastor I’ve moved enough for us to declutter every now and then because of weight restrictions on the move.  So well my house isn’t up for Better Homes and Garden or HGTV it’s not up for Hoarders either.