Upon reading Bishop Tim Smith’s (Bishop of the North Carolina, ELCA) Facebook post this morning, I felt led to share a part of my story.
Sometime after we had adopted our littleman, I was sharing with a close mentor how much Joe and I loved and adored him and how blessed we were to have been given such a precious gift from God (and anyone who knew us and knows us – indeed knows how much we did and always will adore him). I went on to ponder aloud, wondering if we should consider adopting another child, although Joe and I had long ago agreed to have only 1 child. When asked why would I try to convince Joe off this I said “well, if we adopted again we could adopt a little girl and we could have one of each and I could make matching dresses for us.” My mentor paused for a moment and said, “Kelly, is it really something you feel called to do – adopt another child? Is that something that would work for your family?” When I quietly, said “Well not really”. I again said “I want you to know I truly believe Z is our child and the one that God meant for us to have, he is the only one that could complete our family.” She then said something that greatly impacted my life and gave me something to strive for every single day. That impact was made when she said “Kelly, you have a powerful story, that hurts, I know. But God has blessed you with a little boy, so that you and Joe can raise a young man to know how to treat young women and ladies for the rest of his life.” WOW! Each day I believe we strive to do just that – some day’s more successfully than others. I’m thankful for that special mentor.
That all being said, I’ve been hesitant to jump in the #MeToo movement because while it’s a part of my story and always will be – it hurts. Not only does it hurt I’m afraid of what those who hurt me might say or do, or how others will feel if they knew that part of my story, or is it going to just give some who are constantly looking for something to critic something else to judge me on, or is it going to put a mark on any future service I have with the church as an ordained minister and my list could just keep going on.
I’m not all grateful for that part of my story but I am most currently eternally grateful for CareNet of the Triad for the amazing care I’ve been given there for a number of years. Without the team that I’ve been blessed with I would be not nearly where I am in my journey with accepting my #MeToo story and trying to heal from the hurt. I wouldn’t suggest attempting to tackle it alone – I just can’t imagine. Honestly, I do not know where I would be if it wan’t for the wonderful care I receive each week. I’m beyond thankful.
That being said, I’ve clearly openly joined those who journey with a #MeToo story – as one who has been sexually harassed or assaulted. Again I say, I am not at all happy or proud of that part of my story, yet it’s real. Mr. Rodger’s would say “look for the helpers”, for those helpers and a few close friends I’m thankful. I couldn’t have been and still can’t be on this journey alone – thank you!